When it comes to the mistakes we experience in life, context is everything. While we may walk off a muscle cramp earned after a hearty game of football with friends, we are nearly horrified when it occurs during sex.
That’s what we found when we asked 2,000 European and American people to share their most embarrassing sexual mishaps with us. Seemingly innocuous things – like getting a muscle cramp or leaving the windows open – ranked among the top blunders lovers confessed. The good news: They’re mostly preventable. The bad news: They happen all the time.
Most Common Sexual Mishaps
While the idea of sex gone wrong might be a bit of a turn-off, many of the blunders shared are preventable with proper consideration of oneself, partners’ needs, and the environment. These preventable bedroom blunders included being interrupted by someone walking in, spilling something, and falling off the bed or couch. Even taking a few minutes to consider the sexual theatre, or environment in which you plan to … um … perform, could help prevent several of the top 15 sexy-time embarrassments.
Another bright spot was that among common sexual mishaps, more involuntary – and therefore, potentially more embarrassing – occurrences (like burping or farting during sex) garnered lower amounts of complaints from participants.
Men vs. Women: Biggest Sexual No-Nos
Women uniquely reported peeing a little or farting loudly during sex acts, while men admitted to kissing someone’s armpit. Another common ailment for men was lasting only a couple of minutes, while both genders said muscle cramps, open windows, and interruptions were troublesome.
Sex Faux Pas, by Country
Congruent with findings previously discussed, getting a muscle cramp during a sexual act appears to be a prevalent problem (literally) across the map; it is most troubling for sexual partners in the United Kingdom, the Netherlands, France, Portugal, Italy, Austria, Romania, and the U.S. According to the Mayo Clinic, taking simple actions, such as stretching and keeping hydrated, can help prevent muscle cramps and provide relief when they occur (both in and out of bed).
Couples in Germany and Spain commonly left the windows open while in the act (presumably making their antics within earshot of neighbours). The least common reasons for sexual embarrassment, however, were expressed by Croatians and Hungarians. While those in Croatia were most concerned with peeing a little, lovers in Hungary had trouble with accidentally ripping their partner’s clothes while taking things to the next level. Wardrobe malfunction indeed.
What We’d Love and Hate to Happen During Sex
Of all the blunders that could be made, calling somebody by the wrong name is clearly the worst. Apparently, this is even less desirable than accidental pee, loud or stinky farts, and even bending a penis.
Further, respondents most loved the idea of introducing a food item in bed. Fortunately for those lovers, this request did not register at all on the list of sex hates. Certainly, it’s a new take on the idea of a moveable feast.
Sexual Desires and Dislikes: Ladies vs. Gents
Men demonstrated a greater willingness to endure their partner’s accidental bodily functions than women, including farting loudly, farting silently but deadly, and peeing a little.
Meanwhile, women placed a greater concern on the possibility that others might witness their sexual exploits, ranking an interruption as their second highest concern. They don't seem concerned if a passerby hears them, however; leaving the windows open ranked as women’s second most desired action during sex.
Both sexes equally abhorred the idea of someone calling them the wrong name during sex, providing a rare instance of agreement between the sexes.
Top Reasons for Stopping Sexual Relationships
When asked why they might end a sexual relationship, respondents ranked a slip of the tongue at the top of the list – they said a partner who called them by the wrong name would be quickest to get the boot out of bed.
Blunders like kissing someone’s armpit and introducing a food item in bed were seen with less severity, representing an epic faux pas at pleasing rather than a Freudian slip.
Why Men and Women End Sexual Relationships
Surprisingly, when men and women were asked to share why they would eliminate a lover from their bed for good, they matched on the top four reasons. These were being called the wrong name, farting loudly, farting silently but deadly, and peeing a little.
Top Sex Deal Breakers, by Country
Calling your partner by the wrong name could cause irreparable damage to a relationship. Respondents from the United Kingdom, France, Spain, Portugal, Italy, the Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Austria, Romania, and the U.S. appeared to most agree with this.
Preparation and Communication Are Key
Based on our findings, many of the most common sexual mistakes can be avoided with adequate communication and preparation.
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